The grief and acceptance that come with outgrowing friends, family, and lovers can be an isolating experience.

You might find yourself questioning, “Am I making the right decision? Is this the right thing to do?” However, if clinging to these individuals is negatively impacting your mental health and hindering your growth in other areas of life, then you are undoubtedly making the right choice.

Many of us maintain connections with others due to the sense of familiarity and comfort they provide. Whether that be good or bad.

However, it’s equally important to recognize when to let go. Sometimes, clinging to certain people or things can be harmful to our well-being and can severely impact our mental health. I’ve witnessed this frequently and have experienced it myself, so not only do I understand, but I can also truly relate.

A prime example is a married couple, high school sweethearts who built a life together and started a family. Deep-seated issues may only arise when children enter the picture. Childhood wounds often resurface, leading to turmoil. If one partner fails to contribute as a father and husband, placing all the responsibilities on the mother and wife, it can ultimately take a toll on her mental health.

The mother becomes increasingly impatient with her children, which ultimately impacts them as well. Constant conflict at home arises from her feelings of neglect and the burden of managing the household and children. While it is essential for children to witness conflict, it should be healthy conflict. Children can gain valuable lessons from observing how their parents resolve disagreements, which they can apply in their own lives. However, if conflicts are handled carelessly, it can significantly affect the children’s development, particularly their emotional and psychological growth.

Existing in a household where you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells, experiencing nervousness and anxiety, and entering fight-or-flight mode is detrimental to anyone’s emotional well-being.

Suppressing your true self—essentially shrinking yourself to satisfy someone else or conform to a conventional narrative—is not worth sacrificing your mental well-being. It can be challenging to prioritize yourself in a world that often judges harshly and is quick to criticize.

We must remain steadfast and not let external opinions sway the decisions that are made in our best interest. These choices are the ones that will significantly impact our lives.If not for our own sake, then for the sake of others, especially as parents, we must consider our impact. Our children and grandchildren symbolize the future—the next generation. The decisions we make will ultimately influence their lives and the journey that affects their mental well-being.

Navigating the opinions of others can be challenging, particularly when it comes to our mental well-being. It’s crucial to prioritize what is best for ourselves, even if it may appear selfish or self-centred. However, if you’ve thoughtfully considered all influences and find that the people you care about are not supportive, or their behaviour harms your emotional and mental health, it may be time to evaluate your next steps to escape these feelings of despair. Without change, you risk gradually losing touch with the person you once were.

I’ve witnessed this situation repeatedly, and I’ve been in that position myself. It’s easy to cling to people and become enamoured with their potential, whether they are friends, family, or partners. Ultimately, you might find yourself overcompensating and emotionally drained. You learn from these experiences, often the hard way, and they leave a lasting impact on your life.

If you choose to part ways with individuals who no longer benefit you, it’s natural to feel lonely; however, you will adapt over time. During this transition, you shed the old and welcome the new. You’ll uncover different aspects of yourself and gain a deeper understanding of who you are. This journey is both beautiful and daunting, as the ultimate outcome is astonishing, but the process can be intimidating as you ponder where it will ultimately lead.

Letting go of individuals with whom you once felt a strong connection can be a daunting experience, but it largely depends on where you are in your life journey. If you are a person who is secure and confident in yourself, detaching and moving on from relationships may not feel as disheartening as it would for those who struggle with self-worth. It’s important to recognize that while questioning ourselves is a normal response, it becomes unhealthy when we criticize or blame ourselves, thinking we were the problem or that we could have done more. This is especially true when you have already made every effort to maintain healthy and respectful relationships.

If you’re not prepared to completely remove certain people from your life, another option is to create some distance. You can still care for them from afar; just keep your interactions brief and casual. Establish clear boundaries by avoiding emotional matters that don’t directly involve you. Steer clear of conversations or engagements that you know will ultimately leave you feeling disheartened.

At times, it’s necessary to accept people as they are, rather than how you wish them to be.

Before wrapping up, I’d like to highlight some important points to consider when deciding whether to let someone go:

• First, ensure you have communicated your feelings clearly and directly, outlining what needs to change for you to feel secure and content, along with a reasonable timeline for these changes to be evident.
• Second, if they refuse to work with you to resolve the conflicts at hand.
• Third, if they consistently shift blame onto you and avoid taking responsibility.
• Fourth, in cases of emotional or physical abuse, it’s vital to remove yourself from the situation immediately and seek emergency help.
• The fifth point is if you frequently feel drained or anxious around them, as your mental health and well-being should always come first.
• Sixth, if they repeatedly break promises or demonstrate a lack of integrity, showing they cannot be relied upon.
• Seventh, if there are no signs of personal growth or a willingness to change, suggesting that the relationship has become stagnant and unfulfilling.
• Eighth, if you notice a pattern of manipulative behavior where they attempt to control or coerce you into decisions that are not in your best interest.
• Ninth, if you have sought advice from trusted friends, family, or professionals, and they also view the relationship as harmful or unhealthy for you.
• Lastly, if your intuition or gut feeling indicates that this relationship is not right, as sometimes our inner voice can perceive things that our conscious mind may overlook.

Letting go of individuals is never an easy task, but prioritizing your own well-being and happiness is essential. Remember, you deserve relationships that uplift, support, and bring out the best in you.

WRITTEN BY JAMIYLA FERGUSON

Instagram:@jamiylayla

FOUNDER/DIRECTOR @POEMSTELLIUM

www.jamiylayla.com