On many people’s mental health journey, I have often heard the phrase: ‘I don’t have a right to be depressed’, or ‘I have nothing to feel sad about’, or ‘I don’t have it as bad as others.’

This is a toxic mindset to buy into. Feeling like you don’t belong at the depression party – that you don’t have a seat at the table because you haven’t suffered enough. Comparable suffering doesn’t serve any purpose for anybody.

Some people think depression is a choice. But anyone who has ever suffered with depression knows, it is not something you would choose to have from the superstore of conditions. It is debilitating and has the power to take over your life. It is a daily struggle to defeat the black cloud infecting your mood. If we look back at the superstore, a brand name and an own-brand version often have the same ingredients but different packaging. In the same way that depression is depression – no matter how it is presented.

It is human nature to compare – it is how we identify with others and build connections. But in the case of mental health, comparing doesn’t lessen your pain or reduce your depression. It also doesn’t lessen that of others.

The thing to keep in mind is that everyone deals with things differently with varying thresholds of resilience. That’s ok – we are not to be all the same. Our treatment or recovery is also not universal. Medication, talk therapy, CBT, mindfulness or meditation (or a combination of these) may work for some, and not for others. The key is finding what is right for you – and that is what means you have a right to be depressed.

We are not all built the same – we can’t all weather the same storms. But what we can do is focus on our own strength – and how to rebuild or reinforce our emotional ‘house’. Although there is merit in sharing experiences – you may mind a useful tool from someone else, or hope in knowing you are not alone. There is strength in companionship and compassion, but not comparing. Their journey is not yours. You can’t find a reflection in something that is not your face. You absolutely deserve to own your own experience

Move forward – focus on what is ahead on your path. It can be overwhelming – I would encourage anyone feeling this way to focus on one thing at a time, and look at what you can control. You have a right to your life.

Written by Katie Ingram

Blogger @Poemstellium

Instagram: @katieingramauthor