We’ve been reading and hearing a lot about checking in with our loved ones in
the media in recent years.

We are advised to ask them how they are feeling, to invite honest conversation
without judgment, and to fully listen to what is said.

Checking in with yourself, being honest about how you’re feeling, and
listening to your body and mind without judgment is just as important both for
individual people and for society as a whole. We are, I believe, as a society,
worse at checking in with ourselves than checking in with loved ones.

Why do we need to check in on ourselves? Surely we know how we feel both
physically and mentally? Generally, we do, but in the UK, we have a society
that still strongly leans towards repressing our feelings, needs, and wants,
prioritising everyone else’s feelings, needs, and wants above our own.
Societal changes are slowly happening, but there is a long way to go,
especially when it comes to our work culture.

We end up at the bottom of our priority lists. We tell ourselves that we can
keep going, that what we are going through is unimportant, and it will pass if
we ignore it. I believe that this ingrained teaching is a key reason why we
struggle to be open about our feelings, not just to others but to ourselves.
Those people who don’t subscribe to this model are thought of as selfish and
uncaring. People cannot continue to function on empty indefinitely.

Lying to ourselves and others about how we feel will only make things worse
in the long run. However, in the very short term, it feels like the right thing to
do. Burnout isn’t pretty or a status symbol. Burnout affects both your mental
and physical health.

You don’t owe anyone your health or your life, no matter what others may say
or what you’ve been raised to believe. It isn’t always easy to remember this
when you’re caught up in life events. Sometimes, I find myself falling into the
trap of putting everyone and everything else above me, but I am better at
recognising the signs before too much damage is done.

Here are some of the things I do when I find myself heading down that
familiar path:

1. I don’t berate myself for it. I am human and therefore fallible.
2. I look at what has been going on for me recently.
3. I rest, which sometimes involves scaling back on things I’m doing.
4. I reassess what I’m doing with my life and make changes where necessary.
5. I establish new boundaries or reinforce the ones I already have, including
   boundaries with myself.
6. I get help and support if I need it.

Caring for ourselves in all its many forms is essential for us to be able to
function as people and as a part of society. Running ourselves into the ground
helps no one.

WRITTEN BY LORNA SMART
BLOGGER @POEMSTELLIUM
LINKEDIN:WWW.LINKEDIN.COM/IN/LORNASMARTWORDCRAFTER/