In the UK, we still have a strong culture of the stiff upper lip and dealing with things ourselves, even when we desperately need help or support.
Thankfully, there has been some progress in overturning this and making it more normal to express how you are feeling and to reach out if you need help.
I spent over half of my life repressing my feelings and believing the mantra that I was weak, broken and worthless because I was struggling. It caused me far more problems (and, on more than one occasion, almost cost me my life) than I would have had if I’d been able to express how I truly felt without extra pain and pressure being heaped upon me, quite often by those who were in positions where they were supposed to help.
If you’re reading this and are currently struggling, here are some things to try and remember:
1. No matter what someone says, you’re not weak, broken or worthless. You’re human, and feelings are part of the package. Unfortunately, we don’t come with a life instruction book.
2. No person is an island. We form relationships with people throughout our lives for various reasons, such as to learn from, companionship and reproduction.
3. Being who you are is not a crime. You are the one that has to live your life, not someone else. So be who you are, not what others want or think you should be.
4. Be honest with yourself. The lies you tell yourself will often end up being the ones that do the most damage.
5. Cut out the toxicity. We don’t need toxic people and environments in our lives. If the issues cannot be resolved for you, leave them behind. Cutting toxicity is easier said than done, especially in work environments, but it will be better for you in the long run.
6. You are not alone. There will be others out there who can help and support you in various ways. It may be as simple as a shared experience or more involved, like going to therapy. They are not easy to find, but they are there.
7. Get the help and support you need. Again, as per point 6, this is often easy to do, but it is very important.
It isn’t easy to remember these. Even now, I find myself drifting back into the repression, island mode, but I recognise it and get out before it takes a firm grip.
I may never meet you, but I walk beside you in spirit.
Written by Lorna Smart
Blogger @Poemstellium
Instagram @lornasmartwordcrafter
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