Internal/Eternal Battles

By Natasha Abell-Cwietkow

I revel in a darkness that is internal. 

Battling onward though exhausted and aching. 

Scars linger upon limbs, ignored for sanity but felt by fingers for forgiveness and

though I crawl my way through; my hands are cut and worn from holding onto the dirt and stone that lies on the floor of the tunnel. 

Should there be a light at the end? 

Lingering always in the pit of loneliness, though voices are heard nearby. 

Wasting my existence, staining my face with tears, pulling at my skin as though it belongs on another body. 

A warm hand harbours some sanctuary. Providing relief and allowing me to slowly release my grip on the torment. 

A soft word removes the ringing of hateful words and a silence that chokes me. 

There must be a way out that I cannot see. That I cannot reach. 

But there are arms around me pushing me and pulling me through dark corners, 

Awaiting my return to the light that is glaring outside of my own head. 

I am not alone. I have never been and maybe 

this struggle is not because I am weak. But instead, because my heart is too heavy and my dreams are too wild and I will never be satisfied with living as I am. 

Maybe the darkness is my mind in waiting; for me to open my eyes and take notice of the world around me. 

Waiting for me to finally wake up and allow myself to love and be loved. 

Waiting for me to be ready to live.

V Natasha Abell-Cwietkow Biography
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Natasha Abell-Cwietkow is a poet and writer based in Herefordshire, UK. She has been writing poetry since she was 14 and is also a pianist, songwriter and is currently working on a collection of short stories. As of 2026 she currently has 8 publishing credits and is focusing on writing full time.